Week 1 - Being rooted and grounded in Love (Ephesians 3:17)

Nothing comes easily! I'm a hard worker and enjoy a challenge, but sheeezzz. I may be asking for too much when I started this committment. Especially for a year! The summary of my first week is if I can answer the question, do I know what love is? I prayerfully studied various scriptures this week seeking the books suggestion "Lord, teach me what real love is and make me a loving person."

What I came away with is - it's all perspective. I believe myself to be a loving person. Even before reading. But I have offended. I thought I knew what love was, but I have broken the hearts of others. So, in my search to understand what love is and ask for His hand to make me a loving person, I realized this will always be a work in progress.

Sometimes, I don't feel like being a loving person, but must continue to love. I know how to love, but can I love my enemies and those who have transgressed against me?

The greatest love I have known is from the sacrifice of Jesus - for me. On an earthly level, my mother who loved me unconditionally, without fail, in all things.

I reflected on those two loves that I know, without any doubt. That of Jesus and of my mother. The common denominator and that in which the Lord teaches us is to be unselfish. True love comes when we can remove personal agenda and be genuine in our efforts for another.

What a difficult thing to do in this world of survival. Especially as a single person with no earthly accountability - it's do or die in most cases. To be single and in a relationship is challenging. When you are married there is almost a sense of obligation to your spouse. A must compromise. When single, that is erased. I find it very difficult to enter into a relationship with so many issues and challenges from the get go. I yearn to be selfless. Doesn't it feel important to have a mate who feels the same? Are the boundaries lost when you are not married and trying to be a selfless partner? Giving your all when walls are up and you stand rejected? Is it unfair to expect to be loved in return when there is only one person on the battleground.

As we work our way through "this relationship" it's going to take sacrifice beyond measure. I'm human and I question intent - especially when I'm shut out of the process. He is not me and I not him. Our perspectives and expectation vary alot. He lacks vision to my perspective and I lack vision to his. Can perspective be learned and accepted, or even compromised?

So, tell me this. Love is being selfless. Why does trying to create the loving environment for my spouse to grow in feel selfish? Is it more important to find a mate who has little disagreance with my idea of "loving environment" or more important to find the person and create the environment that they feel loved in?

The phrases that I felt connected to as I read the first 7 days are:
Day 1 - Loving God and others is what life is really about. Absence of love leaves a devastating void. Even when you are together.

Day 2 - For Christ's love compels us (2 Corinthians 5:14) When love invades your heart, you are empowered to endure deeper pain, willingly pay a greater cost and run risks to your repuation for the sake of another.

Day 3 -When marriages crumble, couples often claim that it was due to their irreconcilable differences. But genuine love is a master at reconciliation.

Day 4 - Love ultimately fulfills every law of God. Rather than trying to manufacture right actions and attitudes, let love become your first response and your default position.

Day 5 - Jesus was the most loving man ever to walk the earth and remains the perfect example of manhood.

Day 6 - Love, is your primary responsibility in marrigage. No one on Earth is more strategically positioned, commanded, and called on to love your mate than you are.

Day 7 - When you provide safe, loving soil for your spouse to grow in, they will be more likely to flourish with confidence, knowing they are valued and secure.

The challenge continues. I will continue to pray to be that loving person in all ways and be open to the Lord's ways of teaching me what real love is. I did not expect it to be easy. It takes 2. Me and the Lord.