So, last night I had a dream. A very vivid dream and I find myself trying to analyze it. Primarily because I don't remember my dreams that often and so when I wake up and remember some specific details - I often wonder.
It was present time (I assume - because I visualized myself as I am now) at some kind of high school reunion party. Everywhere I looked - I saw high school friends. We were gathered at a very large swimming pool where there were two huge diving boards. Each person taking turns diving off the boards into a pool full of Elephants playing and wading around. I was extremely fearful of the height of the diving board but finally took the plunge. Upon my surface, I was greeted by an old friend whom I've been in love with since Jr.High. He wrapped his arms around me, looked me in the eyes and said how much he loved me. He's always loved me. I couldn't believe after all this time we finally could be together. The Temple marriage to my best friend was the greatest gift I could have ever asked for. It was so surreal.
If that isn't focused - I don't know what is. The significance of the Elephants? Your guess is as good as mine. I find it fascinating - yet a short glimpse of hope. Who knows? I drempt the same guy tried to sell me vacuum cleaners too - Just call me crazy. I think it's hilarious in a weird kind of way.
Dreams are fun. What ever would we do without them.
Thursday, April 30, 2009
My Living Portfolio Theory - Life Philosophy
My Living Portfolio Theory is my daily diary into my life. The good, The bad, The ugly and The beauty.
A little background: In my line of work, I work consistently with what is known as The Portfolio Theory. I believe in this theory. For example, where the past performance of securities is used to determine the range of possible future performances and a probability is attached to each performance. A component of the Portfolio Theory is known as the Standard Deviation. That is a statistical measure of the degree to which an individual value in a probability distribution tends to vary from the mean of the distribution. The greater the degree of dispersion, the greater the risk. (re-read that - you'll get it) In English? Each holding (Security, Mutual Fund, etc) is given a Standard Deviation measurement so that investors can evaluate the holding against a benchmark and make a decision as to the amount of risk they want to assume.
Why am I telling you all of this? It is my life philosophy. I believe our past creates our future. It defines who we are, what we want and what we are willing to do to obtain certain life things (emotional, spiritual, material). As a people, we don't give ourselves a number on a scale - nor do we have entities like MorningStar giving us an individual rating, however, evaluation is created on a person's perspective of that individuals "standard deviation" and the risk/reward they gain from that interaction and relationship natuarlly based on a variety of factors. The world is made of these relationships. Everyone we interact with, even observe or have been influenced by (ie... an author, a famous figure, a higher being) has an impact on our "Portfolio" as a whole and it's allowing that person (mortal or not) to be or not to be a piece of your pie. Do you take the risk or alleviate it?
I look at my life like that "Portfolio". The pieces to my pie that create my world. It is here I write about the pieces to my pie. Enjoy.
A little background: In my line of work, I work consistently with what is known as The Portfolio Theory. I believe in this theory. For example, where the past performance of securities is used to determine the range of possible future performances and a probability is attached to each performance. A component of the Portfolio Theory is known as the Standard Deviation. That is a statistical measure of the degree to which an individual value in a probability distribution tends to vary from the mean of the distribution. The greater the degree of dispersion, the greater the risk. (re-read that - you'll get it) In English? Each holding (Security, Mutual Fund, etc) is given a Standard Deviation measurement so that investors can evaluate the holding against a benchmark and make a decision as to the amount of risk they want to assume.
Why am I telling you all of this? It is my life philosophy. I believe our past creates our future. It defines who we are, what we want and what we are willing to do to obtain certain life things (emotional, spiritual, material). As a people, we don't give ourselves a number on a scale - nor do we have entities like MorningStar giving us an individual rating, however, evaluation is created on a person's perspective of that individuals "standard deviation" and the risk/reward they gain from that interaction and relationship natuarlly based on a variety of factors. The world is made of these relationships. Everyone we interact with, even observe or have been influenced by (ie... an author, a famous figure, a higher being) has an impact on our "Portfolio" as a whole and it's allowing that person (mortal or not) to be or not to be a piece of your pie. Do you take the risk or alleviate it?
I look at my life like that "Portfolio". The pieces to my pie that create my world. It is here I write about the pieces to my pie. Enjoy.
What to say, how much to say and when to say it?
This is scary. To wonder who many come across your written word. There is a sense that you want people to understand you, however, blogging it for the world to see seems almost invasive. Despite my love to read other's blogs, perhaps like several friends of mine the free writing of the day to day life, feelings, trials and prized moments could be my personal "calgon" moment. Could it?
One can't just sit and start from the beginning and try to explain everything. There is so much to say. I think I could talk all day long if I have someone sitting there with interest and intent to listen. It's probably why I don't date. It's been my experience that men really don't care what you have to say - it's all about action. There may be some validity to that - but I like to talk and ponder my own thoughts as well as others.
So, I guess here it goes. The perspective of a woman who still remains one lost soul. Perhaps through this I'll find myself.
~Sandy
One can't just sit and start from the beginning and try to explain everything. There is so much to say. I think I could talk all day long if I have someone sitting there with interest and intent to listen. It's probably why I don't date. It's been my experience that men really don't care what you have to say - it's all about action. There may be some validity to that - but I like to talk and ponder my own thoughts as well as others.
So, I guess here it goes. The perspective of a woman who still remains one lost soul. Perhaps through this I'll find myself.
~Sandy
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