I'm just curious.... Who came up with the whole ideal that you date your friends. I remember when I was a teenager and what little I dated, we dated amongst our group of friends. It was more for group dating and building friendships than anything. Although I was infatuated with the boys I dated, I wasn't really looking at anyone of them that I dated as a potential mate. It was all in fun and experience.
When I "dated" my ex-husband, I didn't set out to find friends and date them. I set out to find a potential mate. Someone I could spend the rest of my life with. Criteria was that we became friends during the dating process and ultimately become each other's best friend - then marry. That's how the process exactly went. I had guy friends during that process and didn't want to "date" anyone of them - although they were good friends and we had fun times.
So, now as a single woman seeking that potential mate - this time for all time and eternity, I had a defining moment - I'm not interested in dating my friends. I want to date potential mates. One whom becomes my close friend and ulitmately my best friend - then at that point potentially marry.
What happens when you have a "friend" that you want to date because you realize they have many qualities you want in a mate. The boundaries change. It's almost backwards. I see profiles online of men that want to make friends first. I can understand the "polite" disclosure. Nobody wants to be rejected and if a woman is not a potentiall mate - it's easier to say - we can be just friends. Same goes for women. Why do we need disclosures? To spare feelings? If there is not chemistry - I'm thinking either of you will realize this and although a friendship may continue to some degree, the ability to move beyond that because you become better friends will not turn to dating.
My conclusion, I'm not looking to make more male friends. I have some great, really close friends whom I love, trust and enjoy being around. I want to find a potential mate who becomes my bestest friend of all time.
