Dreams really do come true!

Love is a peculiar feeling. It can be easily misunderstood. I’ve always had an image in my mind of the type of man I’d marry and somehow have always gone against the grain in those choices. Not necessarily bad choices, but misguided. The past creates us. I love the place to where my past has brought me. I also LOVE new socks. I love cheesecake and chocolate; and diet coke. I love the feeling of accomplishment after I put in a good run. I love it when I make someone happy. I love when a meal I make turns out delicious. I love my job. I love getting snail mail that’s not a bill. I love sending thank you cards. I love going to church. I love being a mom. This list could go on for pages. What I wanted most in life was to have my own little family and love them and take care of them. I’ve always felt my purpose in life was to be a great wife and mother. I was raised in a family unit I wouldn’t change for anything. True family time. True love. True protection. True life events that always involved our family. I wanted that of my own and Heavenly Father has answered my prayers. Early summer of 2010 as fate would have it, I met a boy on LDSPlanet.com. He lived in Salt Lake City, UT and his name was David. Strike one - his name was David. It shouldn't matter, but it did. Our first date, he offered to drive up to Idaho Falls to see me. 10 points for effort! So, if I can confess, I was excited to go out on a date, but I really had other things going on in my life that I wasn’t focused on finding that one man. I had a group of friends I was elated with, grounded in my life and so happy. David showed up. Tall, blond, and beautiful blue eyes. My dream, right? Although we had talked and chatted online for a little bit before he came, he appeared to be shy and quiet. Not so my dream - Strike 2. Our first date was dinner and a movie. I couldn’t tell you what movie we saw. We have tried to remember, but can’t. I think I was just thrilled to be out on a date. He opened the car door, paid for everything, kept the conversation going – the points were racking up in his favor! I don’t remember many details about our date, except for three distinctive things. First, he was a complete gentleman. Second, he was VERY nice and thirdly, at the end of our date, he asked permission to kiss me goodnight. Nobody asks permission! And for the record, David is NOT shy and quiet! The following few weeks, David drove to Idaho Falls often. We began building a friendship that was fun and very comfortable. As time continued, I couldn’t tell you what changed exactly, but I was distracted with pursuing a different direction in life that would take me out of Idaho Falls to NY. In David’s supportive way as a true friend, he encouraged me to follow what I thought was right. Our friendship continued sporadically over the next year. I’d check into his facebook on occasion to check in – and nothing. During our year and a half hiatus, life distractions continued to take me from where my heart was. I missed the West. I missed the gospel. I missed my friends. I was in a place of settlement and living day to day with no real direction. Complacency. Not full of life, but not unhappy. Simply living - and learning to accept "the cards I was given". I can remember the day. Sister Brown and Sister Lee showed up. It was the beginning of a whole new life. They breathed the gospel back into our lives. Reluctance and hesitation were short lived. They reminded me what I wanted and missed. As the light grew brighter and my life began to unfold into what I had dreamed about – it all started to come together. Dawson was receiving the discussions to prepare for turning 8 and I was mending a scared past few years. Looking forward, it was at that time; ironically, that I was planning a visit to Idaho. The agenda was packed, but top on the list was a date with David. It would be holiday season at Temple Square and I was dying to go. The day before I left on my trip, I had a small eye surgery. It left me with a black eye. I was mortified. I hadn’t seen David in so long and here I was with a bold black eye. I packed tubes of concealer. It didn’t work. And David didn’t give it much thought. We picked up as though we hadn’t been apart. I had the time of my life. After a great few hours, which I didn’t want to end, he took me back to my hotel and kissed me goodnight. It was only 10:00pm! I sat in my hotel room wondering why after a grand date, I was dropped off at 10:00pm! Confession #2 - I was so confused and disappointed! I made a long list of assumptions and moved on to my Idaho visit as though – it was a great night and just wasn’t ment to be anything more. Several months passed and David and I stayed in contact only every so often. We continued our search for eternal mates, but not with each other. Then, in May of 2013, in a game of Words With Friends, it all happened. We talked and talked and talked and talked. I couldn’t tell you exactly how this friendship of ours exploded into love, but it did! Our lives, parallel for years finally merged on a path that Heavenly Father paved way before we even gave it thought. Three months later, we are together, engaged and preparing for our wedding on November 2nd, 2013. How does this happen? Timing. Heavenly Father’s timing – not ours. I am SO grateful we were both in a place where our ears and hearts were listening to the spirit that spoke loudly! It’s the greatest gift ever to have someone placed in your life for a reason. David is the most generous person I know. He knows how to love like no other. He shares the same love for our family that I do. He was truly meant for me. Little did I know, the night of that first date in Idaho Falls, while standing at my garage door, floored someone asked my permission for a kiss goodnight – that it would be the first of an eternity of kisses. That’s my love story that has no ending….. The moral of this story – there is someone meant for you when it’s your time. No matter if you are 28, 48 or 78. Heavenly Father has a plan and he’s sticking to it! You can change it, divert from it or mess it up all you want – but when he knows you are ready – he will bless you. I can testify to that!!

In the Clouds

Ironically, I am literally typing this from the clouds. What better place! As I fly home from a grand weekend spent with some of my closest friends with some real heart to hearts, I was reminded of a few things. Isn't it interesting how when we feel uncertain we go to what we know? The people I spent this weekend with are my home. Not the place per se, but the people. One of my greatest fears in life is to not feel protected by someone who is there for me. Namely, a spouse in my case, but I don't have that someone so I seek my dearest friends for that protection. It wasn't until 3am this morning that one of my dearest friends who seems to know my heart in such a way I will never know, said "the Bible tells us that you can't find yourself till you lose yourself". It's so true. I am not that lost, but have yet to put 100% full faith in The Lord. I have no idea how to do that. I suppose I'm equally "unfound" as many of us continually searching. So, I sit in the clouds and dream about my life. Who I want to be. What I want to be. Where I want to be. Happily, I am who I want to be. I'm a very giving, loving, honest, loyal person and although I struggle with my outward appearance and improvements to where I feel my best, my work can always get better, my motherhood skills can always be dialed in, but my heart - the sole foundation of a person is in the very spot I want it. What I want to be is a work in progress. People in and out of our lives mold and shape that betterment of what we become. The opportunities we take advantage of, the experiences we grow in and the consequences of day to day decisions. I look forward to that ongoing process. Where I want to be will never be enough - despite having enough. Despite being content in my own skin, my successes in my work and the rewards of parenting, I will always strive for more. I never will give up on seeking to achieve the goals and doing my part to contribute to the success of those important to me. Call me a dreamer for reaching beyond the norm and knowing without a doubt what it is I want. You. Our kids. A cute little house, living the dream. Because dreams happen in the midst of life ups and downs, good days and bad, certainty and uncertainty, blessed days and sad days, mad times and happy times. And although dreams take time to work towards, adjust, and ultimately achieve it won't happen today or even tomorrow, maybe not even next year - but it will come true. That's what is so great about flying in the clouds - when you are up here looking at the whole view - you can see everything!