Full Circles

How ironic is it that almost to the day, one year later, I find myself having come full circle. In a positive way!

I was updating Dawson's website and reading back through this blog which I can't believe I've had over a year now. THAT went fast! I read my entry on May 1, 2009 and what a lost soul I was. I'm in my relationship class for the second go around. This 10 weeks I went back as a volunteer, however, as a participant equally as much. Reliving the class in a different mental state is inspiring. My heart aches for my new friends who have yet to go through the grieving process and who have so much pain from their divorces still to go through. It's heart breaking. It keeps me grounded. I've been there and it is no fun - for either party.

Tonight was our reading of "goodbye" letters. It was so reflective this past week as I prepared my letter to know I don't have the anguish to say goodbye too any longer, but more of a letter of Hello to the me that I know and love. The happy me that likes to smile and live life - not in constant turmoil and the burden of pleasing someone that is not able to be pleased. I'm so uplifted by how far I have come in just 5 months. I feel stronger and smarter and just that much more beautiful. It was said in our class tonight that you finally get to a point to allow yourself to be loved again. I'm happy.

I have great friends, a wonderful job, a son that makes me laugh and love life. What more could anyone want. I am writing this late at night and should be in bed, but after an eventful evening - and reflection, I've found my place. I'm so thankful for those that helped me to get here and the lessons learned. Although I will always peek back to the past and wonder "what if" - there are no regrets. I don't think I'd be in this very place, not only my physical location, but mentally without those experiences. For that I am grateful.

So, full circle. It's amazing 1 year later the work I've invested in myself, in my life, in Dawson's life and looking in the mirror at the results. Truly amazing.

I'm blessed.