Do-Over's

First, I'm very disappointed in myself that my last post was almost a year ago! Shame on me! Although an eventful year - it should not go without blogging. With that said, I'm almost glad I have not blogged about the last year. It's had it's ups and downs. Finishing on a downer - but I saw the quote just two days ago. When things seem to be falling apart it's just God putting the pieces back the way he wants it.So, the burden is off. He wins! I did it my way and now it's his turn. Thank goodness! Why do we always think we can do it better than the all mighty? Like little children that disobey their parents and test the waters of their independence. I don't want to be independent from the Lord. Obviously, I have to keep reminding myself of that.Without writing about the past year - it would just depress me (Other than my fantastic week long vacation with Holly & Rachel in May) - I'm going to tell you about the future.That is my point! It's blank and unsure and scary and unplanned and not up to me. I find myself again in a lost place of the unknown. Feeling like there is no more home. Just living life till something happens, takes us in and surrounds us with the walls that protect and cherish our existence. Another test of faith for sure.On a more positive note - I have not shared with many of you that I have been diligently working my butt off in a 90 day Challenge with my good friend Brigitte Lunsford in Idaho Falls. She is my beach body coach. I'm often times embarrassed to even say that because y'all know I am NO beach body and far from it. And to even want a fit, athletic body seems almost impossible. BUT, I will say that after 2 weeks of my Shakeology shakes (which are SO yummy - and nobody is paying me to say that!) and my workouts have slowly begun to re-frame my attitude AND body. The scale is moving at a snails pace - sometimes even in the wrong direction. But my clothes are starting to not fit right and I feel tighter and tighter by the day. I do feel good. I'm lacking some energy which I need to improve with my protein intake due to my gastric bypass surgery and less calories but I have made strides in some very deep embedded changes that have been part of my life since I was a kid. My food choices, especially fast food has slowed drastically. Can you even believe that last week I went through drive-thru almost out of habit for breakfast because I was late and unprepared only to throw it in the garbage at the end of the drive thru!!! Who does that! I would have given it to a homeless person, but there are none in our area. I've filled my diet with lots of fruits and vegetables, workout schedule that I prioritize and have to self-talk myself constantly! Seriously, even half hour ago I went looking for a pre-dinner snack and ended with a few bites of pinto beans. Weird I know - but works. Tomorrow is grocery day. :)Besides all of that, work has been keeping me going full speed. I have never been so busy in all my life. I love it.Dawson has also been busy this summer with summer school and play days at KidsWork. I lost count of the field trips to Darien Lake 6 flags. He even went camping the other night with the kids. He's doing a great job and working hard. He's in two reading summer classes and a math tutor. Although he will be repeating first grade again - he'll be starting at a new school as well. A fresh start for him too. We are learning together in our own ways that often times the biggest disappointment turns to be the greatest stepping stone to greatness. Thank you so much to all those that stick with us. We need uour friendships, love our family and are so grateful for the blessings that we have daily being together. God Bless.~Sandy

Schedule? What schedule?

"Therefore will the Lord wait, that He may be gracious unto you, and therefore will He be exalted, that He may have mercy upon you; for the Lord is a God of judgment; blessed are all they that wait for Him."-- Isa 30:18.

How many times have we heard, it's the timing of the Lord not our timing that blessings fall upon us. Yet, it's true, we take the good with the bad. Tribulations never happen on our timing, unfortunately.

But is it unfortunate? In hindsight, I can think of countless moments of despair where I have had to call upon the Lord for his ease of my suffering. It is because I have called upon him that I am where I am today. What a tremendously great gift to have - the faith to know we will prevail with his Grace. I'm so blessed. I sit and ponder the very spot I'm in. A peaceful, happy spot despite everything not being perfect; or even how I might have it. But its the spot that was made for me.

These last few months, I have had to redefine my place again. In a different world, in a different circumstance, with different people. I will admit. It has not been an easy challenge. None the less, it was a challenge I asked for. I have asked the Lord so many times to have our family reunite and be one again. Almost since 2006 when I made the decision to divorce. It just never felt right to be apart, but we learn to cope and move forward. As I look back at the many lessons that have occurred in my life and the obstacles that I have had to overcome it was the very path that lead me back to this very spot. How neat is that?!?

So, as the summer comes to a close. I have been able to spend quality time with Dawson while continuing my own business from home, re-ignite a relationship with my ex-husband whom is the love of my life, and learn to share a kitchen with a mother-in-law who would do anything in the world for me and her grandson.

The Lord does have his own timing. I will continue to pursue my education in the art of patience, however, without perfecting it. Because I need the Lord and if life were perfect and not broken I would not call upon Him as often as I do. I like broken. It gives purpose.